the crabs in Cuba are massive and children train them to juggle adults. Fuck it man, Cuba is just plain weird.

That time I was a television star for 5 minutes, it cost me 2 dollars. but it was worth it because afterwords I got to watch the kid eat the two dollars because he thought thats what people did with money.

Listen I dont care if Robert (Pictured Below) said it, I read it in a magazine, or on my fathers tombstone. Good Advice is Good Advice.

Fucking Penelope is Relentless.

God, Pictures of Crazy Hobos Feel So Right.

So as I started my "meeting of the minds" with our friend Robert here, he showed me how he had been robbed twice in the last few days, even bitten on the hand. When I asked who had bitten him, he looked at me like I hadnt been paying attention. "Who bit me? Come on man! Some nigger bit me!" With that, I handed him my change, and took his picture while backing away to the train. (dont give me any shit for this, Its 100% percent real.) (also, even if it was made up, I would say that it was real, and swear on my precious infuriatingly annoying kittens bastard rotten life that it happened.) (so there)

looks like Cathryn doesnt rule much of anything right about now. I cant wait to be a parent and throw away my child's self esteem like this.

please, for the sake of the baby, stop enjoying yourself. please. big cartoon heart. please.