I drank so much saying goodbye to my friend as he leaves this fine country that my hands and feet are numb. Explain that, Doctor! Is it my heart? Hmm?
"As your doctor, let me say this. You should drink less, you have tuberculosis, and your wife has already died of small pox. You have shot more bear meat than you can carry, your children have both died from snake bites and all of you rotten filthy stinking oxen have drowned when you made them forge the obviously deep deep river while drunk and screaming. Your indian guide warned you of all of this, and then you killed him. smoooooth move, electric groove."
"thank you for nothing, doctor. I will beat the TB and this wretched trail of Oregon."
(I would have sold white women to indians and owned colorado in its entirety if I was alive back then. I would have brought women of ill repute across under the guise of a westword bound nunnery on wagon wheels and sold them all into red man/light sex slavery. Its terrible I know, but times were tough, "we's got this here depression, I gots to look out for me and mine." and so one and so forth. )
In addition......"You go ahead and skin all that you like chief, But I really want ownership of that mountain ridge in writing."
(so now you know where I stand on that. I stand well, well drunk, from a fond farewell to our boy Andy. Tomorrow I watch Andy get tattoo'd and fucked for the last time on this coast. I would like to leave after the tattoo, but if I have to stay because I am invited to watch, I will stay. god bless our tiny bear.)
I miss you little bear. I will leave to go to see you in italy. I promise. before the lunar year is repetetive, I will be drunk in Italy with you.
(written while well hammered.)
"thank you for nothing, doctor. I will beat the TB and this wretched trail of Oregon."
(I would have sold white women to indians and owned colorado in its entirety if I was alive back then. I would have brought women of ill repute across under the guise of a westword bound nunnery on wagon wheels and sold them all into red man/light sex slavery. Its terrible I know, but times were tough, "we's got this here depression, I gots to look out for me and mine." and so one and so forth. )
In addition......"You go ahead and skin all that you like chief, But I really want ownership of that mountain ridge in writing."
(so now you know where I stand on that. I stand well, well drunk, from a fond farewell to our boy Andy. Tomorrow I watch Andy get tattoo'd and fucked for the last time on this coast. I would like to leave after the tattoo, but if I have to stay because I am invited to watch, I will stay. god bless our tiny bear.)
I miss you little bear. I will leave to go to see you in italy. I promise. before the lunar year is repetetive, I will be drunk in Italy with you.
(written while well hammered.)
posted by zipco at 5/23/2005 01:51:00 AM
5 Comments:
you were drunnk at 11pm? well anyway, caulk the wagon and float it acroos you emaciated and pale leper, the ladies are coming to eat you alive, proclaim a distate for slavery and all the fucking psychos that would sell us into it, or anyone into it, you fuck. we're coming to set things straight and unfortunately that will involve circling the wagons and casting the men out. we'll do fine without you obviously, though we may take a few men in who are obviously good people who wouldn't sell us into slavery. jerk.
hey.
you're sick, leper!
you're not supposed to get drunk!
it wasnt the most enlightened time. I didnt create the process.
its just the way that the programmers made the oregon trail more "adult"
I know, I totally thought that too.
but there it was, I was drunk. it came as a huge suprise to me as well.
well as any good traveler would do, caulk the wagon and float it across, rations are meager to bare bones these days and we can't be too fancy. sorry i had to tell you this way. little timmy and clementine are running around naked as i speak and you only shot one squirrel ya lousy shot.
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