"These shoes not only make it so I can jump two inches higher, but they also make me feel like my penis is 4 inches shorter." YOU ARE WEARING HEELS. MAN UP, NO LEVEL OF COMFORT IS WORTH WEARING WEIRD LADY ALIEN SHOES. it might be convienant and even comfy to wear adult diapers, but we dont do that. go buy some dignity in the form of a gun and wave that around wearing some normal sneakers, or combat boots, or damn flip flops, but throw that shit you have on in the trash.